Saturday, March 6, 2010

My Life since February 13th

Since coming home from Colorado with an ankle injury, my life has changed dramatically. For instance, I haven't seen our kitchen in a month. As a result, I've lost some weight. One consequence of hitting a tree at 45 MPH is nightly refrigerator trips become impossible.

I also do a lot of sitting. In fact, I've become one of the best sitters/slouchers I know. Here's a quick rundown of my daily routine.

The bed has been equipped with one of those triangle pillows from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm sure it was reasonably priced at around $275. I use these weird pillows, plus about 2 or 3 additional pillows, to prop up my gimp ankle above my heart at night. This is really good for preventing both swelling and peaceful sleep.

Now I'm a natural position changer when I try to go to sleep. I like to start on the stomach, try out a side or two for a while, and eventually end up in some weird, convoluted shape that instantly sends me into a blissful rest for 8 glorious hours.

When your ankle is severely swollen and there's an incision quite possibly as long as your forearm on top of your shin and another one, The Friendship Scar, on the right part of your ankle, position changing is ruled out. You get only one option: your back.

I'd say I average about 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night right now. Once you become this sleep deprived, you begin to hallucinate. You start to dream while you're awake. And poor Brooke, I can't imagine she's getting that much more than me. I'm hopeful that as my ankle heals, I'll be able to change up positions and get back into my normal routine.

Also seen in this picture is one of my two grabbing devices. This one was sent to us from our friend Jim. I use it in the bedroom for when one of my ice packs falls off of my leg. These things are very useful.

Now during the night and throughout the day, I'll have a handful of appointments to the man's room. I placed a stool in front of The Seat to prop up the gimp ankle while I sit, govern, and do my paper work.

Two activities typically occur while on the porcelain throne: business and brushing my teeth. I have to use a small glass of water and a small bowl to accomplish the teeth cleaning procedure. You can see the glass and bowl next to the sink in this picture. I used to hate brushing my teeth. Now I hate it even more.

After I'm done with my work, I can't wash my hands. That requires me to get up, and that ain't happening. Instead, I rely on hand sanitizer. This stuff is amazing. After 4 or 5 uses, it removes entire pieces of your skin. It's an effective germ killer.

Showering, for me, has become one of the best cardiovascular work outs that I've ever experienced. First, I have to wrap my stupid ankle in a cheap trash bag and seal it off with hair-pulling tape. We had to purchase a chair for me to sit in and install a removable shower head. Because I have nothing to rest my ankle on in the tub, I have to hold my gimp ankle up the whole time with my right arm and use the left arm to conduct business.

I usually leave the shower in a deep sweat. Because of this, I'll be honest and tell you I don't really shower every day anymore.

Once the morning chores are finished, I get to the best and laziest part of my day: the couch. I use another inexpensive triangle pillow, along with a few others, to prop up the gimp ankle. We try to ice it all the time to reduce the swelling and the fever (presently I'm at 99.6 F). I have another grabber for getting at things out of my reach. I've got a computer. I've got remote controls. I've got it all!

And finally, here it is. One of man's greatest inventions. College basketball. I couldn't have picked a better time to severely break my ankle. First, I had the Winter Olympics. Now, we're quickly approaching March Madness.

So there you have it. That's what I do for about 10 to 12 hours a day. One of the biggest surprises is in spite of receiving so much candy, junk food, and snacks from friends and family, I've lost about 20 lbs.

It must be all of those showers I take.

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