Monday, October 18, 2010

Please Remit Payment

We just got our first bill from the Orthopedic Foot and Ankle center after the third surgery in August. One of the things that's fascinated me about the last eight months (and by fascinated, I mean caused me much anxiety) is how much it costs to snowboard into a tree.
  • $101.00 - X-Ray Exam of Ankle
  • $2,500 - Treat lower leg fracture
  • $3,450 - Apply external bone fixation
  • $2,075 - Remove bone for graft
  • $2,100 - Removal of internal fixation
This comes to just over $10,200. Fortunately, we only have to pay around 10% of that. I've lost track of how much our insurance company has paid for hitting that tree. But thanks, guys!

My friends (so-called) at work were successful in getting this blog Google bombed. The search terms are unmentionable.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I Am Pleasant Handbags

Our friends Ken and Cari recently moved to Norway, where excessive consonant usage is commonplace. For instance, "the rainbow has many colors," in Norwegian is "regnbuen har mange farger." Come on, "g-n-b," really?

If you read the comments on this blog, you've probably read some of Ken's ridiculous statements.
"I've been trying for several minutes now to google "blogspot snowboarder vs tree diarrhea" in order to trick google into thinking your blog is about diarrhea, so that if people google for diarrhea, your blog will come up. so far I'm not having much luck, but I'll keep trying."
Ken was engaged in what is commonly called Google bombing. Unsurprisingly, Ken has not been successful to date. There are many reasons for this. Chief among them is he is not a computer scientist or a computer engineer.

Also, look at his face. Do you think that face knows how to Google bomb? Or hammer a nail?

However, as I'm typing this, it has dawned on me that many of you reading this may know how to correctly Google bomb. Perhaps it was a mistake to bring this up.

I guess I'll notice when one of you becomes successful at Google bombing me. I keep watch over what keywords bring people to the blog. I noticed a new and interesting search term that brought one person here, "surprise dear friends, i am pleasant handbags."

I think these words are related to this post about Brooke's email getting hacked before my second surgery. The keyword right after that probably confirms this idea.

Or, someone has an awesome handbag.

One more thing. Mom, Dad -- please either learn what a bookmark is or simply type the URL into your web browser. Please stop searching Google for "" You are embarrassing me.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. My thumb is getting better, although I cannot bend it yet. My ankle seems to be doing fine as well. My next appointment is the first week of November just four weeks away.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

That News is Rad

The results are in. My thumb is officially not broken. I've always known that I was probably stronger than the Incredible Hulk (the Lou Ferrigno version, of course).

Now I'm back to obsessively planning my epic return to snowboarding. Fortunately, thanks to the advertisements on my blog -- hey, stop using Google Reader for a second and click them -- I discovered the GoPro HD Hero camera.

It's relatively cheap. I like that. It can be mounted on your helmet. I also like that. There are other places you can mount the camera, such as the tip of your snowboard.

I found this clip on YouTube of a guy that mounted his GoPro HD camera on the end of a ski pole.

This is probably the first time a ski pole has ever been useful for anything.

This is a picture of my friend Andy's knee. I don't remember how he developed this third knee. It could have been salsa dancing, snorkeling, whatever -- how he developed it doesn't matter.

Like I said in this post, he belongs to that group of friends that's constantly putting me at risk of receiving something stupid. This time, it was in the form of a text message exchange we had earlier in the week.

I know, right? I did not have a good comeback. In fact, I'm still waiting for my George Constanza comeback moment.
Constanza comeback: A phenomenal comeback to an insult, that arrives in your head only 30 minutes too late. Coined from George's antics in the "Jerk Store" episode of Seinfeld. Frequently encountered during the car ride home from somewhere and in more extreme cases while in bed the night after getting humiliated.

As a computer scientist, it is in my DNA to constantly locate new things on the Internet. I just recently discovered It tracks all registered ships in the world in real time. Awesome.

This is the very first ship I clicked on in St. Louis.

I'm not kidding. I didn't look around for this ship. I happened across it on my very first click.

On the way to Colorado for a snowboarding trip, I think it's obvious that we need to find Who's Your Daddy Now on the Mississippi and join the boat party.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Hand X-Rays

I saw my doctor and got an order for X-Rays. I should receive a phone call if there is a fracture, but by using my awesome radiological skills, there does not appear to be a break.

They wouldn't let me do a thumbs-up pose, unfortunately.

It's still bruised and hurts to bend, but now we know my bones are probably as strong as metal.

Friday, October 1, 2010

High Five!

Well, it looks as if the odds of having a fracture somewhere in my thumb may have just gone up. Check out the sweet color of my thumb.

No, seriously, because I can't. I'm color blind. In fact, please comment on the colors you see and describe them to me.

That's a bit bigger from yesterday. The crutches on the left are a different set. I decided the tread on my crutches was a possible problem, so I rotated my tires.

I'm no thumb anatomy expert, but shouldn't that knuckle be a little bit more to the left?

I scheduled a visit with my family physician for Tuesday to get an order for an X-Ray. Unless you can't stop the bleeding or you are dying, there is really no need to hang out at an ER. I'm doing my part to help cut down on the large quantity of people visiting America's emergency departments for no good reason.

The pain level is at a 6 out of 10 when I try to bend it. Time to do a splint upgrade.

The good news is I can continue to crutch safely. I can put all of my weight on my hand and still hold my crutch with the webbing of my thumb.

The bad news is that this is my spacebar thumb. My words per minute is going to go way down.