Bouquets On A Stick

Since my injury, we've received hilarious and generous letters, drawings, cards, and gifts from our awesome friends and family. We received a nice bouquet of flowers while we were at the hospital in Frisco, Colorado from Brooke's Mom and Dad. All of these gifts have been uplifting, heart warming, and all that sort of stuff.

Additionally, we've also received several unusual and edible bouquets.

Pictured here is a bouquet of delicious snacks, crackers, and candy -- on a stick. My Aunts, Uncle, and Cousin sent this to me a few weeks ago. While I absolutely love this gesture and appreciate the unusual and genuinely American gift, I just cannot eat this!

Why?

Most of my time is spent on my butt watching college basketball and Dog the Bounty Hunter. Sorry, I'm lying to myself. All of my time is spent on the couch.

As much as I want it to, I get very little exercise watching collegiate athletes play the game I love. Even if it's in HD.

And what about Dog? I mean, he'll occasionally jog-walk the island of Honolulu with his flash light. Yes, it's once he's left his SUV, but he's trying to track down hardened criminals. But you guessed it. No exercise value whatsoever in watching Dog dominate Honolulu, one of the most violent cities in America!

One of my goals throughout this recovery process is to avoid gaining a ton of weight from the deadly combination of eating and sitting. More importantly, I've got to manage traffic through the Tony Turnpike. It's a very delicate and stressful job. One wrong move and bad things happen.

So back to the bouquet. I may or may not have eaten the M&Ms on a stick and the KitKat bar on a stick. Thanks, family! Delicious.

Here's another awesome bouquet we received yesterday from work. It's a ton of cookie electronics -- on a stick. It's an awesome arrangement and very creative. But for the same reasoning, I couldn't eat a single DVD or computer!

However, I cannot confirm that I ate half of the cell phone. Thanks, work!

Now I hope you're sitting down for this. Look at this picture.

It's fruit. On a stick! ON A FOOTBALL!

We got this from Brooke's parents. It may have lasted an hour. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

So, look. I apologize to everyone that's sent us food and may have been offended by this post. I just can't keep eating and eating and eating while I sit here like a bum taking drugs that shut important systems down. And backups on the Tony Turnpike are unacceptable.

But we've brainstormed and problem solved a solution up. Actually, Brooke did most of the work. You should see me try to brainstorm at full pain medicine capacity. Again, one of the reasons I'm not at work.

We have friends and family visiting us. They have stomachs and, as far as we know it, their turnpikes work.

Before you leave our apartment, you're required to gorge yourself on our gift food. You're put on the clock, people are screaming at you, and a pretty lady holds up your hand if you're the winner once the competition is completed. It's totally awesome!

Gotta go, Dog is on.