Snowboarder vs. Tropical Storm Nicole

I've been a professional crutcher for eight months. I can crutch circles around ordinary walkers.

I even know the intricacies of crutching that no one else would know about. For instance, you cannot crutch shirtless after putting deodorant on. It lubes up the arm pits and forces the crutch to slip right out from underneath you. No nurse or doctor will ever tell you this because they don't know how to crutch. I do.

I dominate the crutch.

Unless, of course, it's raining. Then, all bets are off. I found this out today during Tropical Storm Nicole.

As I was escaping the daily grind of work, I was carefully getting my crutch on down the side walk just outside the building. The right crutch landed in a puddle of water and slipped out from underneath me.

I hit my right heel and bear trap on the ground, but immediately bent my knee to avoid bearing my full weight on my broken ankle.

Unfortunately, I landed hard on my right thumb while holding my crutch. The thumb instantly swelled up and bruised. The pain was pretty bad. Because of the pain, the swelling, and the bruising, I was convinced I had either broken my thumb or dislocated it.

Dr. Borden's voice was running through my head, "boys will be boys," while I sat on my butt for a good 15 minutes. Co-workers passed me by.

I called Brooke up to let her know that I should probably go to the ER. She still knows the charge nurses there, so that would get me fast tracked. She gave the charge nurse a call to prepare for my arrival.

During the long commute home, my pain level was still high in the thumb, but I could bend it and the swelling wasn't getting any worse. Brooke met us outside the apartment and did a quick assessment in the car. We decided to not go to the ER because the thumb doesn't seem broken or dislocated and the ankle feels fine.

It's the right thumb. The swelling is minor.

I did end up bleeding out of this pin site in my heel due to the landing from the fall. That's the only damage to the bear trap ankle that I can see.

I married a nurse because I am smart. I can get healed instantly after a bad fall. Here's Brooke's work in action -- a tape-based splint system. I threw on a bag of ice and took some pills for pain and inflammation.

I'll give my doctor's office a call tomorrow to see if they want me to come in for X-Rays next week. I've been exposed to enough X-Rays, CT scans, and fluoroscopy to give me a healthy dose of radiation poisoning.

The bottom line is I'm fine and this in no way detracts from my already established and well known ability to be an epic user of the crutches.