Snowboarder vs. Hiccups

My Mom did some Interneting last night and discovered that some people have reported developing hiccups after taking massive amounts of Valium -- which is exactly what I'm doing. Last night I stopped taking my 30mg a day.

Unfortunately, last night was more of the same as the previous four nights. I went for bottles of Sprite (carbonation), spoonfuls of peanut butter and jelly, and held my breath for as long as possible. All with little to no success.

This morning I called my family physician. We go in to see him at 2:15PM today. Here I am, a guy ambulating on crutches with a giant, bloody bear trap on his ankle, hobbling into a doctor's office complaining about -- hiccups.

This is ridiculous.