First Day Back to Work

Fact: no reasonable human on earth should wake up at or before 5 AM. It is the most ridiculous time to be awake. That was my only problem throughout the day. I was tired.

I had unfortunately adopted the college student sleeping schedule over the last eight weeks. It made me look even worse than I normally do. I'm already more pale than the most computer scientists. Now I am more tired than most computer scientists.

I was very happy to see everyone at work. My new nick name is Eileen. They gave me this name when they discovered I had lost about 2 inches in my right leg before my first surgery.

It's good to be back full time, but it's going to take me some time to get back into work shape. My brain, just like my calf, has atrophied. The most stimulation my brain got during my injury was from an episode of Seinfeld.

When I got home today, an elevator in the metro station was out of service. It was my only way to get across the tracks to the street elevator. It must have happened while I was at work, because all of the elevators were in service this morning.

Without any means of escaping the station safely, it was my golden opportunity to try my hand at riding an escalator. Mom, Dad, and Brooke -- don't worry, I didn't fall very far.

As I was getting on the street elevator, another gentleman was inside about to enter the station. He too was on crutches. As soon as I saw the bottom of the crutches, words queued up in my brain and started their journey to my mouth. Like the idiot I am, I wanted to be friendly and say something to him. I felt like we each belonged to a crutch brotherhood.

But as I looked up, I saw that they were the more permanent kind that conform to your arm. He didn't have any broken legs. My brain immediately sent an emergency stop signal to my mouth. It was too late. I heard myself utter the words, "I feel your pain."

Seriously?

That is probably the worst thing I could have said to him. I had just verbally snowboarded into the tree of social awkwardness. I imagine most of my friends will say this is par for course. He immediately responded, "yeah, but I've been doing this for 35 years. I'm in much better condition than you."

He was absolutely right.