Dippy Bird and Those Stupid Eyes

I have no idea why this happens, but I've been pranked at work on numerous occasions. Here's the short list:

• All of my important and timeless books were stolen and replaced with Windows 95 books and other manuals from 1986. For those of you that aren't computer scientists, this is an insult above all insults.
  
• My book shelves have doors. One day, when I opened them, I found myself in a substantial pile of packaging peanuts. Apparently, the thieves wanted to return them in such a way as to avoid breaking them.
  
• One time, I won a prize at a picnic. It was a Nerf gun. Days later, my darts were stolen. When I complained, they were returned, but my gun went missing. It was returned to me yesterday after about a year.
  

When I got back to my cubicle yesterday, my chair was gone. My name plate had been replaced with, "Sir Dippy Bird." There was newspaper covering my entire desk. And where my keyboards used to sit, there was bird seed, a partially eaten gummy worm, and a perpetual motion bird.

This was my replacement. Apparently this bird has done more work in the eight weeks I've been absent than I've done in my entire life. Everyone that came by to see me this week first asked how Dippy Bird was doing. They were all so impressed by how much of a better job he was doing.

There was even a picture of him on his desk with Run-DMC.

Needless to say, I don't get along with Dippy Bird. Has Dippy Bird ever had to massage fluid out of his gimp foot? No way. Ever wondered what it looks like to massage fluid out of a gimp foot? I thought you might!

Here it is. A classic fluid lump on the top of my foot. I took this picture last Sunday after being up on it all day. In theory, I'm supposed to push that gross pile of fluid all the way up to my knee.

Fact: Superman couldn't push that lump past my knee.

The good news is my fluid build up wasn't too bad Monday or today. I've done a good job of keeping my foot elevated.

I also took this photo on Sunday.

This was taken just a few minutes ago. It looks better, right? It's a bit smaller. Hopefully it has finally decided to heal.

The February 13th incision is just about done healing. That just goes to show you how brutal these injuries can be. Since there's no muscle around the bone explosion site, my skin absorbed most of the energy. The resulting swelling, infection, and necrosis really slowed the healing process.

It still needs to be treated like an open wound, but probably only for a few more days. It's funny to think that just a month ago, I was freaking out that this part of my leg was going to die.

This was what it looked like four weeks ago. That's a gigantic difference. Good work, body. Good work. It's about time you did something around here.

I cheated and removed one of the steri-strips myself. I'm supposed to wait for them to fall off on their own. I don't know why I've been leaving them on. The incision has completely healed. There's nothing for them to hold together anymore.

It's probably another prank.

Ankle Update

Believe it or not, I didn't faint after taking this picture. I can remove my wound dressings without going pale. It's probably because my top incision is covered and the wounds on each side of my ankle look a little better each day.

Much of the edema in my foot is gone now. However, you can still see it in my ankle. That's why it's so lumpy. At least, I'm hoping that's why it's so lumpy. Could you imagine if this is what my ankle looks like now?

My toe bruise is getting better. My ankle does not bend upward beyond 90 degrees, so when I'm in my boot, there's a lot of pressure on this part of my foot. Hence, the bruise. As my flexibility increases, this pressure should go away. But it's still there. It usually hurts the worst at night.

The wounds on the right part of my ankle are almost gone. I think all of the swelling and edema, as well as these two wounds, will make my scar look gnarly in a few more weeks. It's hard to see it now with all of the fluid.

It's April 9th. I had my second surgery on March 1st. That's six weeks. What is this thing?

Heal already!

I poked this red thing with a q-tip and it's some kind of fatty tissue sticking out of a hole. You can plainly see that the two holes above it healed just fine. But for some reason, this guy wants to hang around.

Check out the bottom of my heel. The darker skin is all dead. Gross.

When I'm done washing my leg and cleaning the wounds, I had to cover it back up with this orthopaedic sock. I was reusing the same one each time. I thought that was nasty, so I went online and bought more.

Twenty five yards more.

That might have been a bit much, but I plan on snowboarding for several years. I'll just keep it for next time.

Surgery Two Ankle Photos

We just watched Tulsa lose to UTEP at the BOK Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It was depressing. Tulsa had a nice run at the end of the game to bring it close. But they blew it! How could they do this? I'm injured, looking forward to March Madness, and now my favorite team has no chance of making it to the dance!

I have pictures of my leg from today.

Here is where they made the incision for the second surgery. If you look carefully, there are several holes on the left side of my ankle and foot. That is where he did some drilling.

Here's an update on the so-called Friendship Scar. And you can see the bullet hole wound left by the external fixator rod that was in my heel bone. This is one of my favorite pictures. If you look up close, you'll see the odd colored oozing coming out of the middle of the incision site. Normal? Who knows. Awesome? Yes, correct.

Update: The odd colored oozing coming of of the middle of the incision site is, in fact, skin necrosis. This is bad. It essentially means that the skin has died. I'm so glad I hit that tree.

The last three pictures, I think, explain why I might have been in quite a bit of pain since the surgery. Don't freak out, that's not a pile of skin just below my foot. It's extremely bloody gauze from the splint.

There are three or four holes in the left side of my foot and ankle. It's where the surgeon drilled in some of the screws to secure some of the tibia pieces to the plate. As I was swelling, all the good things in my foot drained out of those holes into the splint.

I have yet to take a look at the post-op report. Brooke won't let me. She's afraid it will increas my pain. She's probably right.

First Follow-Up Appointment Tomorrow

Our first follow-up appointment with The Closer is tomorrow morning. We'll be sure to grab some new pictures of the leg. I'll ask for the X-Ray images and post-op report as well. That should tell us more about the second internal fixator he installed into the bionic ankle. We'll be able to count the number of screws he used to fasten all of the fragments together.

We're in search for some answers about my fever and how to improve my sleeping. My sleeping right now is horrendous. I wake up every hour or so drenched in sweat. I'm hoping it's just a temporary inability for my body to regulate my temperature.

Finally, we'll develop a set of criteria for me to safely return back to work. As much as I like updating this blog and enjoying March Madness, I'd really like to get the ball rolling on returning back to a somewhat normal life.

Man, I cannot wait to see what this ankle looks like. It is going to be so disgusting!