Snowboarder vs. YouTube

Last November I asked to have my second external fixator removed while I was awake so I could capture it on video. I thought it would at least make for a unique video and perhaps help educate people on external fixators.

The video recently exceeded 10,000 views on YouTube -- earning a whopping $7.38 -- so I wanted to take a closer look at the video's statistics. Why were people taking an interest in this video?

The demographic breakdown was just as you would expect. It's mostly dudes around my age looking for something gross. It's the Internet version of rubber necking.

Further supporting that theory is this "hot spot" graph. The graph on the left is "viewer attention" over time. I'm not sure how YouTube measures viewer attention, but you can see it's at its highest when the drill is removing the half screws from the tibia.

That's my favorite part, too.

Since the video's been up on YouTube, I'm discovering it's serving another purpose. While there aren't many of us, other people go through similar injuries as mine. And if they're anything like me, they want to know as much as possible about what they're about to go through.

It's one of the best ways to eliminate fear.

A few days ago, I got this message on YouTube from another viewer about this video.

Hey man. I saw your video of getting your external fixator removed, and i saw a link to your blog and read a bit about your story. I broke my leg playing highschool football last septemver. Tib-fib compound fracture. The doc put in a nail, which led to infection, and eventually an external fixator on for about 4-5 months (got it off this July) Before i had the removal surgery I watched the video, and it really calmed me down, and helped me understand that it wasnt as serious of a surgery as I had thought, so thanks!

This injury has put my wife and me through what seems like an endless cycle of surgeries, rehab, pain, and healing. I've made it a goal to work hard at maintaining a great attitude through the whole ordeal, but, of course, it can be difficult to find the silver lining. Certainly, hitting a tree has brought me closer to my wife and made me realize how amazing my friends are.

But the message I got a few days ago from this YouTube viewer surprised me. It was an unexpected silver lining.

It's amazing how much easier it is to cope with your own severe injury when you know that, by sharing your story, you've helped at least one other person's ability to cope with his or her injury just a little bit easier too.

Let's be honest, though. Seeing that drill take out that massive screw from my shin like a carpenter uninstalling a table top is totally awesome!

VIP Parking Pass

It's a new era in my life -- the handicapped era. I decided a few weeks ago to get my VIP parking passing. Parking is starting to become a problem at work, so what better way to guarantee a spot than to exploit my ankle.

For the longest time I didn't want to get one of these. It was like I was admitting defeat. Then I realized -- it's awesome to not worry about parking, especially in this city. For the next year, I can get the best spot anywhere I go.

I was an idiot not to get one.

My left ankle is taking some abuse from the ex-fix. I've hit it about four times now.

You're Killing Me, Nissan

Dear Nissan,

You're killing me. This new Versa ad campaign you've got running on every single channel in America every eight minutes?

It's a healthy ankle parade is what it is. And, it's to the tune of a catchy song called "Don't Stop."

It certainly hasn't.

Something needs to be done about this commercial.

Snowboarder vs. The Island

Pain killers are great and pain killers are a burden.

Pain killers are great at taking terrible ten out of ten pain and turning it into a tolerable pain or no pain -- and, if anything, pain killers let you forget it ever happened.

But when you stop taking them, at least for me, I take a ride through a series of steps in withdraw. For the first time, with a clear mind, I'm able to face the reality of my situation. It hits you all at once: eighteen months have rushed you by with four surgeries and, guess what?

You're ankle?

It ain't fixed and your prognosis ain't good.

When I saw a picture of what's left of my cartilage -- a tiny island in the middle of barren, unhealthy, incongruent bone -- it was my first opportunity to see my enemy face to face. And I saw it winning; dominating.

This is the first step in withdraw for me -- I'm finally able to assess my situation with emotion. And, holy crap, there are a ton of emotions that I run through.

While all that's happening, you get to hang out with some other pretty awesome withdraw symptoms.

Night sweats with chills (quite the paradoxical experience). No energy. That constipation problem you had? Imagine that problem as one end of the spectrum, and, after you stop taking the drugs, you're tossed on the opposite end of that glorious spectrum -- arguably the worse end.

No, it cannot be argued. It is manifestly worse.

There are a few methods to cope with withdraw. The best one?

Delicious slumber. Sleep. More sleep. When you wake up, go back to sleep. Each time you wake up, you feel better.

So, I'm feeling much better. Unfortunately, withdraw impacts more than you think in your life. I missed two fantasy football drafts, opportunities to be with good friends, and I'm sure my awesome wife, Brooke, loved hanging out with a sleepy, quiet, pooping husband.

But I finally feel myself. Thankfully this is the fourth time I've had to go through it, so I know how to handle it. It's never easy, but at least we know what to expect.

So, how is the sweet ankle? We put on a new dressing last night. It looks like it's improving -- slightly.

You can see how one of the k-wires has pulled my skin out. How does it feel? Pretty amazing.

Above is a picture of the top part of the exfix. This is an area that we're concerned about because it looks slightly inflamed. We tried to push down on it to see if we could get any fluid to come out of the pin site holes, but no toothpaste came out.

Something to keep our eyes on.

So, with withdraw defeated, I'm feeling much better about my situation. My ambition and focus on returning to snowboarding has returned. I'll do whatever it takes. I'm hoping for the best with ankle distraction arthroplasty and preparing for the worst.

And as for surgery number five? Brooke, Dr. Jeng, and I all agree -- it's my last one.

Snowboarder vs. Ankle Distraction Therapy

After yesterday's doctor's appointment and quick visit to work, I was exhausted -- that was the most active I'd been in several weeks. When I got home, I crashed and did not wake up until this morning. I'll need to be more careful about pacing myself.

This morning I decided to try walking around without crutches -- and, of course, I captured it on video.

It's an odd feeling to bear all of your weight on 6 k-wires and 2 large screws in your foot and tibia. I can feel a lot of my weight on the top screw on the top ring, so I'll start using crutches to ease the burden on the ex-fix for the next few weeks. Walking on the ex-fix doesn't hurt, but it also doesn't feel amazing.

I'm using large rubber bands to help pull my toes up while I walk so that I do not stub any of my toes while walking. This also helps stretch the toe tendons -- especially the big toe. Without substantial flexibility in your big toe, it's very difficult to walk. This will be another thing I'll need to focus on for the next three months.

The next video shows you how to unlock the ex-fix to release it for moving the ankle.

You can see our dog, Spunky, was extremely interested in this instructional video. Oh, by the way, please don't tell Brooke I let her on the couch. I'll get into a lot of trouble.

Unlocking the ex-fix feels weird. You can feel the large amount of tension used to pull apart the ankle joint move from the two rods in the front to the rest of the ex-fix. I fear that because it's so difficult to unlock one of the rods that I won't move my ankle as much as I should.

What I need to do is come up with a schedule to exercise my ankle since I intend on walking on my foot everywhere.

Gross Pictures and Videos, Aww Yeah!

First, let's start with a video of the unlocked ex-fix. I got to move my ankle for the first time in a few weeks. Yes, this hurts.

Now come the gross pictures. Click on them for some high-resolution gore!

Unfortunately, we couldn't get a copy of the x-rays or the arthroscopic images. Next time we show up, we'll bring a thumb drive and get those copied onto the blog. I did get a chance to capture some of the x-rays they took today as they were displayed on the monitor.

You can see how much joint space has been added. Now I just need to start walking and moving the ankle to encourage cartilage growth. It hurts, but it's the only way to do it.

Snowboarder vs. Driving

Earlier tonight, Brooke and I decided to visit our new vehicle to see if my wheelchair would fit in the caboose.

After our doctor's appointment, I intend to visit work for a bit while Brooke searches for nurse practitioner preceptors for her final year of college.  I'd like to roll into work on my chair while visiting friends since it'll be easier to keep my foot elevated.

Brooke ended up doing most of the labor while I ran some experiements. I wanted to know if it would be possible for me to drive a car.

I think the evidence speaks for itself.  The right leg fit nicely over the console and the left foot reached the pedals without any issue.

What do you think?